Learning to live with uncertainty

You may notice that you’re paying a lot of attention to aches and pains in your body. You may feel like a “sitting duck.” The doctor says you have no signs of cancer now, but can you be sure? You may be wondering…
Will it come back?
What are the chances it will come back?
How will I know if it has come back?
What will I do if it comes back?
When will it come back?
The fear grips you, and you have trouble sleeping, being close with your partner, and even making simple decisions. You are not alone.
As time goes by, many people say that their fear of cancer returning (recurrence) decreases and they find themselves thinking less and less often about cancer. But even years after treatment, certain events may stir up this worry again, for instance:
Follow-up visits or certain medical tests
Anniversary events (like the date you were diagnosed, had surgery, or ended treatment)
Birthdays
Illness of a family member
Learning that someone you know has cancer or has had a recurrence
Having symptoms that are a lot like the ones you had when you first found you had cancer
New symptoms you don’t understand
The death of someone who had cancer
Here are some ideas that have helped others deal with uncertainty and fear and feel more hopeful:
Be informed. Learn what you can do for your health now and about the services available to you. This can give you a greater sense of control.
Be aware that you don’t have control over cancer recurrence. It helps to accept this rather than fight it.
Be aware of your fears, but don’t judge them. Practice letting them go. It’s normal for these thoughts to enter your mind, but you don’t have to keep them there. Some people picture them floating away, or being vaporized. Others turn them over to a higher power to handle. However you do it, letting them go can free you from wasting time and energy on needless worry.
Express your feelings of fear or uncertainty with a trusted friend or counselor. Being open and dealing with emotions helps many people feel less worried. People have found that when they express strong feelings, like fear, they’re better able to let go of these feelings. Thinking and talking about your feelings can be hard. But if you find cancer is taking over your life, it often helps to find a way to express your feelings.
Take in the present moment rather than thinking of an uncertain future or a difficult past. If you can find a way to feel peaceful inside yourself, even for a few minutes a day, you can start to recall that peace when other things are happening – when life is busy and confusing.
Use your energy to focus on wellness and what you can do now to stay as healthy as possible. Try to make healthy diet changes. If you are a person who smokes, this is a good time to quit.
Find ways to help yourself relax.
Be as physically active as you can.
Control what you can. Some people say that putting their lives back in order makes them feel less fearful. Being involved in your health care, getting back to your normal life, and making changes in your lifestyle are among the things you can control. Even setting a daily schedule can give you more power. And while no one can control every thought, some say they’ve resolved not to dwell on the fearful ones.